Listening

As a preacher’s child
in Sunday School
I knew just what to say,
I always followed the rules.

But for all these expectations,
I knew my prayers were empty inside.
I felt and I failed so many temptations,
And no help was in my sight.

But You drowned the silence.
You spoke into my ear.
And now I’m trying to be humble,
I know it’s You I want to hear.
Speak to me, my God.
Speak to me, my King.
Your servant is listening,
I want to hear everything.

[Well, now] Cell phones, emails,
And TV screens,
All these distractions,
They’re endless it seems.

As I choose and view my own attractions
I look, but yet am blind;
But, God, by Your grace, and Your still small voice,
You reach out and help me to find:

I don’t mean to drown the silence.
I don’t mean to turn my ear.
I am trying to be humble.
I know it’s You I want to hear.
Speak to me, my God.
Speak to me, my King.
Your servant is listening,
I want to hear everything.

Copyright 2009 by Jonathan D. Sheddan.

You see, the silence is not a bad thing. God wants to use it, even speak to me through it, but I in my flesh, stick myself in a rut between waiting for God to move, and thus pushing out all of the other things that should hold priority in this time, and at the same time distracting myself with such overly mundane tasks such as surfing the internet, checking my e-mail, and shopping for yet more stuff that I’m going to have to eventually get rid of. I end up with twenty minutes of relative stillness in the car as I head to work, but instead of taking advantage of the peace and quiet where I could converse with my Lord, I “drown the silence” with the sound of the radio. This is when I realized what I’ve been doing, and I came up with this line, and developed the start of the song above. [1]

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[1]This entire post is an excerpt taken from an entry in my personal, non-online journal, dated 24 July 2009.

Definitions

Main Entry: interior [1]
Function: noun
Date: 1596
1: the inner or spiritual nature : character 2: the interior part (as of a country or island) 3: the internal or inner part of a thing : inside 4: the internal affairs of a state or nation 5: a representation (as in a play or movie) of the interior of a building

Jonathan's Interiors is the name I gave to my personal journal. I will try to be as transparent as possible. However, I’ve heard of too many people getting themselves into trouble by throwing certain thoughts into the public domain without giving themselves a chance to wisely discriminate their choice in expression.

While I applaud the courage it takes to be so brutally honest with their thoughts and actions, I have to think that I might avoid certain unnecessary strife by keeping my rawest thoughts safe in my own private files. While my online version as displayed here has undergone significantly more screening and discretion before being published, I still hope and intend for it to reflect my inner thoughts and emotions.
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[1]http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/interiors [accessed May, 2008]